How does one begin to type a story that took a full 29 years, 2 months and 25 days to write?
I begin this by saying that loving Kirk is the greatest thing I have ever done. It’s a love that’s calm, that’s honest, respectful, patient and that I value. We aren’t just “husband & wife” we take our vows seriously. We think before we speak. We act out of kindness. Our words are honest and loving. We treat each other kindly and respectfully….and it took a lot of bad boys, breakups and heartbreak for me to know that those very things are the foundation of a successful marriage…
I met Kirk on January 6, 2009….but, the truth is that I had been dreaming of him since I was a little girl. I don’t know whether my dream of “a man whose name started with a K” began with Barbie & Ken or I just liked the names I made up, but from the time I was little, I pictured a tall, dark & handsome man.
When I met Kirk, I was newly dumped and devastated. I had just had my heart broken by my ex of almost 9.5 years and was nowhere near in any shape to start dating. My days were spent crying in an old bathrobe on the roof of my friend’s apartment in feet of snow. It literally felt like there was a death….mine….and the thought of dating was nowhere in my mind.
However, when I went home for Christmas, my best friend, Whitney, convinced me I needed to start dating. I had not been on a date in nearly a decade and was so jaded and bitter from my relationship/breakup that I hated all men. However, a bottle of pink wine (the BIG bottle) took over and we created my Match.com profile. I thought to myself, “hey, screw this…I am gonna shoot for the moon.” I was “old” (29) and wanted to be married with kids and knew I had little time to waste dating. I had many friends with online dating horror stories and no amount of free dinners would convince me that 40+ (I actually had a friend who had that many) dates was a good thing.
My List of Demands was short.
I probably browsed quickly through 10 or so profiles when I found a picture of Kirk. I was drawn to him b/c he had curly hair, a dog between his legs, a ball cap on but curly hair poking out, and the mountains in the background. He looked HOT!
I read his profile and was impressed by his style of writing, his love of music and his slow-paced style….
I “winked” at him from Kansas. Days went by and I returned to Colorado sometime just after New Year’s. I was in a new apartment with an old friend who was also starting a “new life” and was ready to be Single in the City. My first memory of Kirk took place on the floor in my new bedroom. I was taking a break from hanging pictures above the sofa. I remember being really sad all day as I moved furniture from my new home that my ex and I had bought. A HUGE chapter in my life was ending and I had yet to find the possibility in my new life. It just felt so sad….29 and nothing to show for it.
A few drinks in and my new roomie and I were figuring out where to put what. We had a guy friend over to help and we deemed ourselves the “Lonely Hearts Club.” (he too was recently single). We were a pathetic threesome drowning our sorrows in a couple bottles of beer.
I sat on the floor with my beer (probably 3rd or 4th for the night) and checked my Match.com profile….I had an email back from Kirk and we started an online chat that night that went well into the night. We were then emailing back and forth and I had something to look forward to.
My days ended and began with emails from him. We would ask each other 5 questions then had to also answer the questions we had asked. We soon knew as much as possible about each other without having met. It was fun to flirt and, feeling adventurous, I took the bull by the horns and turned one of my five questions into “when will Kirk finally ask Jessie out on a date?”
We agreed to have one of those formal “first dates” at a restaurant the following weekend, but Thursday rolled around and I could feel myself both anxious and starting to back out and went for it with a text message that read “had a rough day…wanna meet me for a drink?”
I just couldn’t fathom the idea of a formal date for my first one in 10 years and fancied myself more of a beer and pub kind of girl. He wrote back that he was at the gym but would meet me at 10pm at the Irish Hound.
WHAT HAD I DONE?
I didn’t even have time to shower or change and agreed to meet the man who was my “dream man on paper” while wearing jeans with holes in the knees, a KU t-shirt, black Chuck Taylors and my hair in a messy ponytail.
I quickly texted back that maybe it was too late?
He was already there waiting on me.
I walked into the bar and spotted him sitting in a booth, baseball hat on, curls poking out, nervously playing with the highball glass in his hand.
I talked non-stop until the bar closed. Nerves had the best of me and I don’t honestly think he said one word the whole time. He walked me to my studio, then car and we said goodnight.
It felt like I was floating as I made my way home. I honestly didn’t think I would ever hear from him again….
There was an email waiting for me when I got home.
I was smitten….
We had our “formal date” one day later at a bar, then our first kiss in my car that night.
Date Number Three was at his house. I invited myself over and he cancelled plans with friends and borrowed eggs from a neighbor to cook me pancakes. We watched his favorite movie (which also happened to be mine)…we didn’t know that at the time….For Love Of The Game….I told him I loved the Bob Dylan song and he told me it wasn’t Bob Dylan….it was….we held hands.
I have spent nearly every night with him since then.
Early on, about 2 months in, we started whispering our dreams of a life together over pillow talk each night. Our love grew quickly.
I count my blessings and thank God for Kirk every day. He came into my life at THE most difficult time and turned everything around for me.
Our memories, our stories, our life together quickly became my fairy tale coming to life.
We became engaged one and a half years into dating, were married on June 18, 2011 and were blessed again by God with the gift of a honeymoon baby who was born 9 months and 3 days to the date of our wedding on March 21, 2012.
Life is good. Our family is growing and learning and still very much in love.