****I should note, at this point, that I lost a whole month of your life. I have been walking abround for quite some time now telling people that you “will be 9 months on the 6th”…..turns out, you are TEN months now! I’m sorry, Beef! I often don’t know what month or year it is and, while I should feel worse about this, consider yourself lucky that I even find the time or energy to write this letter to you….I love you, baby, I just don’t know what the date is***
I remember when Reeve was 9 months old thinking this same thought. How have you been outside as long as you were inside of me? That concept makes it seem like you are still much smaller than you really are. Being pregnant both seems like a hundred years ago and just yesterday at the same time. I miss that feeling of you inside of me. The Wonder, the Mystery of you. But, now that you are growing and we are really getting to see WHO YOU ARE I’m so glad you are this big and only growing bigger.
You really are the funniest, best part of our family. Your brother is at a VERY difficult, stubborn stage and you are nothing but smiles and bright eyes. I’ve said before that you are a cross between the Fat Guy in Animal House who spits food everywhere and the prisoner in Silence of the Lambs. You are funny and will eat everything then spit it everywhere and rub it on your body and in your hair just to see what it feels like.
Each morning starts with your crying and fussing inside that crib. I go into find your butt in the air and when you see me you LIGHT UP. You still don’t really reach for me, but I just know I’m all that you need.
Each night you let us know when it’s time for your final Feeding and are quickly put to sleep in my arms. Should you not fall asleep quickly, you lie in your bed and KICk and POUND with one arm/leg.
You are up 1-2 times a night still wanting to eat and are relentless until I go up to your room. I think I can let you Cry It Out, but you are good crying for an hour if you need to. That stubborn streak scares me…I don’t remember Reeve being this stubborn even and he was BAD!
Teething is likely part of the reason you are so restless. You’ve got 6 teeth now (4 upper, 2 lower) and are a constant booger, snot ball because of it. You wake up with snot in your hair and constantly clench your jaw. I am not kidding when I say that you BITE the crap out of me. My knees are always wet from where you’ve crawled up to me and just started biting me. My shoulders have small bruises and I am basically your chew toy.
You get so mad and frustrated and we know it because you pull your left arm inside it’s sleeve and eat on the sleeve until it’s soaking wet! It used to be cute, but now it stops you from being able to fall back asleep b/c your arm comes out your neck hole. I can’t quite convey the extent to which you do this, but when you are sad or mad you just start tugging your arm inside there and it’s all day long!
You are starting to talk and we equally look forward to it (Reeve will have someone to talk to) and dread it (if you talk as much as him we will never get a moment of silence). You still growl and screech and are as loud as can be. Here are the words we know that you know
Hannah = nuh nuh
Reeve = Reeeee
Hat (you say it when we actually put anything on your head)
Batman = Batttt! Mah!!!!
You wave your hands to tell us NO when you have had enough of something or are done eating. You are a parrot and mimic every sound we say. We just laugh and laugh at the things you say and TRY to say! And how you LOVE to make us laugh. Already you know what it feels like to make other smile!!!
You love pulling blankets on your head to play Peek A Boo. You also put napkins, toys, bottles, keys, socks, shoes…well, anything on your head. At first, we didn’t know why you were doing this but once we figured out that each time you put something on your head you were SO happy and SO smiley we figured out that you were playing Peek A Boo.
You still will eat almost anything, but do not like carrots and broccoli. For the most part, you eat straight off of my plate and have even had the “forbidden” peanut butter, strawberries, cow’s milk and honey. You are very happy to FINALLY drink out of a sippy cup with a straw. You wrap your arm around the bottle like someone is trying to take it from you and are so possessive of it.
Eating with you in the High Chair can be quite dangerous. You get to jumping and that thing gets up off the ground a good inch or two! It’s dangerous! I’m always terrified you are going to hit your mouth or head on the table.
That aggression, that ATTACK (whether it’s food, at my leg or the toy you want) scares me. You are one feisty little thing!
You are as strong as an ox and stubborn as a bull. You are hard as hell to hold and want me when you want me, but want away the second you do! There is no in between with you. For now, all of your behaviors make Reeve laugh and he thinks it’s so funny, but I know someday you are going to beat the crap out of him. It’s just a matter of time. We actually look forward to the day you can tell him to get off of you or to back off! He still can’t stop pulling on your legs and getting all over your space!
You are the fastest Army Crawler I’ve ever seen. You just learned how to crawl on all fours this past week, but keep forgetting that you can and aren’t comfortable doing so yet. I fear that when you remember that you can, I won’t be able to keep up with you.
You dance and sway from side-to-side when you hear music and often will just spin yourself in circles when we sit you on the floor. I have a video of you doing 8 spins. You just look and look and don’t want to miss a thing!
You can pull yourself up to standing and I’m now afraid to leave you alone in any room even for a second. You pull up on the couch and “walk” about two steps then freak out. You pull up in your crib and will just stand there crying! You haven’t really learned how to fall down and that’s what really freaks you out. I’ve watched you on the Monitor and you get so frustrated by not knowing what to do.
Though you aren’t necessarily the most cuddly baby, I’ve gotten two snuggle sessions this month. It may seem strange that I recall exactly the details, but one was a night we had you up really late and you fell asleep on my shoulder. I rocked you and rocked you and then Reeve came in and sat there with us…I didn’t want to move! It brought tears to my eyes and was my FAVORITE moment (aside from the first time Reeve saw you in the hospital) as a Mom of Two.
Taking a bath with Reeve is your favorite thing to do. You splash and kick and just squeal with delight. You love when he shares toys with you and just look up to him so much! He immediately calms down when he sees or hears you. And he’s SO very patient with you. I’m actually always surprised by this when I see you take his toy or eat one of his Batman and I think he’s going to hit you and then he just starts laughing. He thinks every thing you do is so funny!
You are still the cutest baby in the world. Those bright, sparkly blue eyes! One sweet dimple. Six white, shiny teeth! Hair that gets thicker every day and lays just so long over your ears, but has a perfect hairline. Eyelashes that curl up to your eyebrows. You are the most beautiful baby boy in the world. Strangers stop us to comment on how blue your eyes are and each new tooth only makes that dimpled grin that much cuter!
You just have this happy little face that makes everyone smile. You are bashful and love to make eye contact then look away as quickly as you can and hide your face. Like, if I can’t see you then you can’t see me. It’s a game along with your version of PeekABoo where everything goes on your head. We laugh and laugh and just find everything you do so funny.
What would any of us be like without you? As One Year Old approaches (even faster now that I realized you are a month older than I thought you were) I can’t wrap my brain around how old you are. How is it possible?
All I know is that there is a not a day or hour really that we aren’t all just full of laughter and love because of you. When you and Reeve look at each other you just both start giggling and my heart is a puddle on the floor.
Lowe, you are a sweet sweet baby and I’m ever so grateful that you are mine. As you grow bigger and bigger (honestly each day seems to bring fuller hair and bigger belly) I just can’t help but think about a year ago at this time and how far our family has come. The dreams we’ve made real and the memories of the sleepless nights with you in my belly. This journey with you has been amazing!
I love you so much, there are not words.
Keep growing big and strong and funny!
Favorite things to do: feeding Hannah, Throwing things on the floor for me to pick them up, taking things out of buckets then putting them back in, crawling, throwing your head back to make us laugh, growling, mimicking any sound we make, pulling yourself up to stand, being tickled, lunging at Reeve….dance side-to-side when I say “dance, dance)
Favorite things to eat: ANYTHING! ice cream, Cheerios, any kind of meat, bread, bacon, my shoulder (it’s covered in bruises)