For some reason, it wasn’t until the Sonogram Tech turned her screen towards me and showed me this image that I realized you are REALLY a baby in there.
Sure, I feel you kick and move. I know I am pregnant. I see the belly.
But it wasn’t until I saw your big cheeks, pouty lips and watched you grab a toe near your chin and give it a tug that I realized, “Holy Shit….he’s a real baby in there.”
In my mind, for some reason, you were still developing and didn’t really look like anything yet. Odd….I’ve been posting weekly updates and know how big you are, but I guess I haven’t sat down long enough or taken the time to digest yet that you are a PERSON already. You already know me better than I know you. My voice. You definitely settle down when I sing to your brother. You know my heartbeat. My smell.
I know so very little about you.
With three weeks from today until my Due Date, I’m completely unprepared emotionally in every single way. Logistically, we are set. Every item is bought, cleaned, hung, in place, etc. I’m terrified. I have no idea what to do with a newborn. I know it will all come back to me, but for now….fear is the front-running emotion.
You are measuring about 7 pounds 8 ounces (she could be off a pound in either direction) and I’m told your head is Big (great….especially with a VBAC in the works).
You get the hiccups more and more and are head-down, yet rolling from front to back pretty frequently.
You are perfectly adorable! Look at that face.
Baby L, I’ve loved you before I even saw that face and now I can’t imagine a second of our lives without you in them. Hurry up and get here so I can see your little fingers and lips and those sweet, big cheeks.