I just never know what’s going to come out of his mouth next. It might be sweet, it might be rude, it might be a cuss word and it may be the most profound thing I’ve eve heard. Here are a few examples of some of the things I’ve heard lately.
Mom, can I talk about something? Yes, what? Come by can give me a kiss.
Why do dogs have 6 legs?
While trying to nap. Does Santa eat hamburgers?
Look at this. It’s awesome sauce (tire swing at wash park)
How did my feet get old? Said at Pre-School while they puckered up from the paint on them. His teacher told me she thought this was so funny
While standing at the urinal at school
R: My butt is cold.
Me: Are you done?
R: No I’m waiting to see if my penis is cold
What kind of song is this? while a DMB song was on…
Mom, I had a rough night
Mom, I’m watching a For Adults movie
How’s that baby gonna get out your belly?
The hiccups won’t get out of my mouth (he was SUPER frustrated that they wouldn’t go away and kept try to suck his belly in)
Audrey, will you be my girlfriend? You WILL be my girlfriend
Daddy will be really really so SO so excited about your necklace. He’ll be totally knocked off. And then maybe he’ll die (after a Stella & Dot delivery arrived)
Why did Doc Oc put tentacles under my penis? (I think you can figure out what he meant there)
My legs hurt from all that playing I did
Are you in love mom?
R: My butt hurts.
Me: Why does your butt hurt?
R: My butt is crying because I want to go back to school
While wearing a Spiderman suit to the movies
Me: Buddy, do you care that people laugh at you?
R: No, I can handle whatever. I’ve got spider sense
After I told him no. Mommy, you’re hurting my feelings
Mommy if you love people you kiss them
(each of these are filler words he uses quite often when his wheels are spinning or he’s trying to think of a lie)
I’m Batman I can handle whatever I’ve got
Is that a deal? He’s getting really good at trying to compromise with me
I can have one sucker here and one at my party
I’m afraid we’re gonna get caught in the rain (while at the nearby park as dark storm clouds rolled in)
Mom, I have to be an adult.
I have to find my groupon
Are you a rookie mistake? (this was a personal favorite of mine)
Am I adopted to you?
Will Baby L have hairy hair?
Put your belly out so Baby L can see
Are you diabolical?
How come I don’t have wings? (as he looks over his shoulder at his back)
Mommy, you look vulnerable
Mommy, you have great confidence
Joker, I won’t let you ruin the batman legacy
You know what? You talk to much (in his batman voice)
I. Don’t. Want. A. New. Baby (randomly and with much conviction)
Is this really necessary ?
I’ve decided I don’t want to be Reeve anymore
God put that baby in there, then it slided down your head