A.Letter.To.My.3.Year.Old

Dear Reeve,

I spend a lot of my time looking at and thinking of you as a grown boy now. It’s hard b/c you look so much more mature than the average 3-year-old. Long gone is any Baby Fat you may have had. Your neck is long, your jawline already quite pronounced. Your hair is very “styled” and blue jeans age you about 5 years. You are 42″ tall and your vocabulary that of any 10-year-old on a bad day. Your feet are so long and skinny, your shoulder blades rival that of a swimmer’s and your ears…well, your ears.

When my mind wonders to the “Future Reeve” I just hope that you are a kind person. That you keep this amazing sense of adventure and whimsy you have now, but that you open the door for your dates and that you make your bed. Will you read in bed each night with glasses on like Daddy and I? Will you be brave and kind and giving to others? Will you still cry when I talk to you about little boys with no food or mommies? Will you love school and be great at math & science or will your head be in the clouds all day dreaming about getting out on the field after the final bell rings? Will you grow up and want to go far, far away to college or will you want to stay close to home so I can do your laundry and cook for you on the weekends?

I just want you to be a good person, happy and kind….

Turning 3 is quite miraculous. I’m constantly surprised I’ve made it this far. Partially because you are the MOST spirited 3-year-old I know, but also b/c I often doubt my parenting skills and am just impressed I’ve managed thus far. Sometimes I just cannot believe I have you…STILL! Three years ago you came into my life and have changed me in every way possible and, yet, I still have a hard time looking at your beautiful, spirited face and believing that I get to keep you. What did I do to deserve you?

Such passion. An imagination that makes me so proud. Sound effects that rival any toy. Eyes that sparkle green like daddy’s. You can’t keep your hands out of your pants (uh oh). Your room sort of smells stinky like a boy. You cannot wait to rip off your clothes every night before bathtime and then run and hide naked in our closet. You beg for Pirate’s Booty and snackies “from the pantry” and probably eat too many sweets. You still don’t like meat and we have to sneak it into your mouth. You cuss a little and pretend you can’t count past 4 just to make me so mad. Everything is a jumping board for Batman to leap off of. Your costumes are just a part of you. My absolute favorite thing about you is still how any activity, any walk we take or any trip we go on is full of narrative about Bad Guys and Activating your Powers. Just last night we took a walk and you rode your Stryder Bike and had to stop every 10 feet or so to spray “Exclamation Power” or “Speed Gel” on the wheels. You were throwing pretend grenades at Villains and your tires kept getting stuck in “goo” and “slime” and “sludge.” It’s seriously as though we’ve been given a mini Stan Lee. Not a day passes where you aren’t in costume or cape and we just love it. You call your Owies “ouches” and sit on the corner of the bathtub whenever I try to take a bath. You still can’t stand to be very far away from me. We do “Dear God” every night and sometimes I’m so proud of how you give thanks for Lucas or friends and thens sometimes think cookies and candy are all you care about.

Reeve, there are just a million little, tiny things that I love about you that I try to hard to never forget. I wish I could find the time to write down every little thing you say that makes me laugh or smile. I just hope you never doubt how very loved you are. How special you are. How grateful I am that you were chosen to be mine and that I am yours. Our family, soon to be 4, is the most precious thing in the world to me…NOTHING comes first. Sometimes lately, I choke up thinking about how you won’t be my only baby and I find myself holding on to you a little too tight. Don’t grow up so fast, I beg. How can I every love your brother as much as I love you? But, we are making room in our home and in our hearts for Baby L and I just cannot wait to see you as a Big Brother. The LOVE you carry in your heart is immense. Whether it’s Batman or Big Hero or Veggie Sticks…you LOVE so deeply and I have no doubt that what you feel for your brother will open my heart up even more. I simply cannot wait to see you protect and teach him.

In this past year of your life you’ve started school and become such a great listener. I’m proud as can be EVERY day when I sneak up to your class and spy in to see you playing so nicely with others. You LOVE your friends and Miss Amanda and cannot wait to tell me each day after school what you learned or made. Each day you come home with a new craft and story about who did what. You never eat your lunch and are ravenous after. We take a nap together (remember, I’m pregnant) and even though you fight me each day, your 90 minute rest leaves you recharged and ready to battle the Bad Guys.

You are potty trained and still sleep 12 hours each night. You get better and better on your Stryder bike each day. You still don’t eat meat and are super picky about what does go into your mouth. Usually, if it’s a carb or cheese you are happy. You use big words and are suddenly in love with the soft Superman blanket you sleep with each night.Daddy is your hero….as he should be, he’s mine too. You jump off of anything and everything, from heights that scare me, yet you are still a very cautious little boy. You are brave, yet you are always making sure whatever you are doing is safe. I think you get that from Daddy.

My favorite thing about you is how excited you are to be a Big Brother. You ask nearly every day if your brother will be here soon. Today, as I write this on your actual birthday, you are in your new Blue Batman costume shooting the Baymax fist at Daddy and your party is in a few hours and you think he is going to be there. You love to kiss and touch my belly, but I know you just don’t really understand how much your world is going to change. Pretending that you are a baby is something new. You like to lay cradled in my arms and say “waaaa waaa” like a newborn would and want me to rock you. Questions about if babies are born with hair, legs, can walk, eat food, have teeth make me laugh. You tell us you want to protect him and teach him about Superheroes. We just know that you are going to be the world’s best Big Brother….as long as you can learn to be a little quieter 😉

As I lay here typing this, you are Daddy are wrestling in your Playroom. Your party is in a few hours and I’m starting to get emotional remembering 3 years ago today. A lot of what I’m feeling is probably amplified by the hormones of this pregnancy as well as fear that I will have to relive your Emergency Birth with your brother, but none of that outshines the Joy and Love we felt 3 years ago today as you were brought into this world. I still am in awe of your beautiful face and can remember lying in that bed looking at you with Daddy just wondering “how?????”  What did I ever do to deserve you? Your ten tiny fingers and toes. Your small chest and dark hair.

I often take for granted everything about you. I’m wrapped up in getting you to eat your vegetables (I still have to damn near hand feed you to get food in your mouth) or trying to get you to stop cussing, punching or being disobedient. You are quite Sassy and I just wouldn’t want you any other way.

Three…and sometimes Mommy is so tired with your brother in my belly I worry I’m not being the best mommy in the world, but you always give me kisses. Wet ones with too tight hugs. I still get to rub your cheek until you fall asleep and you never nap better than when I am at your side. Some days you are so mean to me, but it’s all forgiven when you tell me you want to be my baby and lay in my arms blinking those long lashes up at me.

I read a blog post recently where a mom said she couldn’t believe she had made her child….the truth is, YOU made ME! Getting to be your mommy is the best job I’ve ever had. With loving you comes all the HUGE, big feelings — sometimes just pure love, often guilt, fear, gratitude, joy and then doubt. It’s amazing how one little person can do such HUGE things already in this world.

Daddy and I are really proud of the little boy that you are, Reeve Denver. We love seeing your imagination run wild and hearing the big words escape your little mouth. We love how you race over to any baby who is crying and comfort them. We love that you jump off of the tallest things, but then approach the slide with great caution. You still love to hold my hand and look over your shoulder at me as you run away.

We wouldn’t trade one thing about you. You are perfect and we thank God each and every day that He gave us such a wild, loud, crazy, ornery, sweet, smart, honest, creative little guy.

Reeve Denver, three years ago you made me a Mommy AND a better person. I love you and I love you and I love you and let’s love each other forever.

Mommy

 

 


3 year 6 3 year 8 3 year 9 3 year 11 3 year 27 3 year 29 3 year 30 3 year 33 3 year 35 3 year 38 3 year 39 3 year 45 3 year 43 3 year 48 3 year 4

Favorite things to do: wake up screaming for me to come get you then beg to watch cartoons, Blue Batman, capes, sweets, friends at school, wrapping any cord, rope, tie around your action figures to “tie them up”
Favorite things to eat: Annie’s Mac & cheese, salami, yogurt tubes, Pirate’s Booty, carrots/broccoli
Dislikes: naps…lately you’ve been telling me you hate them and fighting me
Funny Tricks: using random big words you learned from Batman, Dammit, jumping off of anything you can, riding your Stryder Bike very slowly and cautiously, hitting a baseball as hard as any 8-year-old
Scary items: new foods, you hold up your hand and start doing a whole body shake then say “No, Thank you, Mommy”
Cute item: you LOVE to carry around your fleece Superman blankie
Hair color: blonde ends from last summer
Eye color: grayish-green
Clothing size: 4T
Diaper size: only wearing Pull Ups at night and are waking up dry
Weight: 37 pounds
Height: 42″

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