Little.Moon (5.weeks)

I am 100% certain you are a boy. I feel exactly how I remember feeling with Reeve only tired….and I don’t think that’s because of you, but because I have to chase his tireless self around.

I wake up each day at 4:39 am and then cannot get back to sleep. I’m already uncomfortable sleeping on my stomach AND my back…though I’m not showing at all. I pee a lot and am nauseous but never actually sick. I crave salt and cheese and the thought of milk makes me want to puke. I baked Pumpkin muffins today and the smell almost made me really sick.

To be truthful, I’d much prefer being/feeling sick everyday b/c then at least I would know something is going on in there. When I feel great and have no cramps/pains/discomfort/nausea I start to think the worst. Then, just like with Reeve, I start repeating “healthy baby, healthy baby.”

At this point, we’ve told my parents and are waiting another month if we can to tell daddy’s parents face-to-face since we get to see them so rarely we’d like to make it really special. Don Linny started bawling in Walmart and walked around in a daze. Papa Jim yelled “What?!?!” and then asked if we’d been trying. Gross….

My mom said she didn’t think we would have any more kids. Do I seem that like that kind of mom? I don’t know, for some reason people who can say “one and done” kind of throw me off. As naughty as your brother is, I’d take 100 just like him.

I am in love with your Boy Name and daddy doesn’t ‘like it at all. I am really going to have to work him on this one. You will learn this pretty quickly once you are on the Outside….I ALWAYS get what I want (except a baby girl, of course).

Daddy is in Arizona and I’m lying on the bed obsessing over your nursery and reading pregnancy blogs.

More than anything, I just can’t believe it’s been so long (over 3 years) since I’ve felt what I’m feeling. Shock and excitement. Fear and anxiety. I can say with all honestly that I’ve forgotten almost all of the details and the idea of having to think about Sleep Schedules and breastfeeding and swaddling and strollers kind of has me scared. I feel REALLY old. My 35 birthday is next week and I keep thinking, “aren’t I too old to be doing this?”

I just love you in there, Little Moon. I hope you are happy and growing big and strong.

I don’t miss The Wine yet, but I know I will soon. In fact, it makes my stomach turn to think of it. I DO miss sushi (though, again, gross) and without lunchmeat as an option don’t really know what I’m going to do for lunch each day.

Grow big.

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