there is only to be one more letter like this, that which I write next month on your 2nd birthday. It breaks my heart. I cannot believe I am sitting here planning out the party for you. I shouldn’t be surprised that you are nearly two, but wasn’t it just yesterday we brought you home and daddy would hold you in his lap, you in a sleeping gown and cap, him teaching you what your hands were? Time is a nasty, nasty trickster….
Almost-Two…two is a long time, and then, not really. I can’t imagine how I will feel on this day next month. I just can’t even think about it yet….especially since, most days, I just try to hang on until 5pm when Daddy gets home. “Almost-Two” is HARD…
This 21st month of your life found you exerting your Independence in any way you possibly could. I will never forget the night I was sitting on your floor reading you one of 18 Night-time books when you grabbed it from my hands and said defiantly, “I can read it by myself, Mama.” Well…..go right on then. I was so proud of you in that moment for finding your voice and for your confidence. Weeks later that voice and confidence is mere bossiness. Don Linny thinks it’s so funny when you are bossy and say things like, “YOU do it” or “mind your own business” while pointing your finger or giving me a look that says “NOW,” but I don’t much like it. Aside from the fact that it’s rude, it’s your way of telling me that you need me less and less. Yet, at the same time, we have days where you literally pull me from all sides to get my attention. You want ME all the time…no one else will do. And I get it, I’m Mama….but you simply cannot get close enough to me at times. Sometimes you walk up to me and put your face as close to mine as you can so that we can breathe the same breath. You give amazing hugs and are very generous with them of late, but then you will turn on me and throw something at my face or fling a bottle across the room. You NEEEEED me and then you want to push me aside, you are like a bad teenage boyfriend.
I find myself wondering each day when it will click that you CAN NOT punch! Not me, not Lucas, not Hannah and certainly not while screaming and writhing around fighting to get away from me. It’s downright hard parenting a strong-willed, VERY smart toddler who has the vocabulary of a 5-year-old. It’s hard so hard to keep up with you, this month I honestly thought I had some disease that was zapping all of my energy. Turns out…I just have you. You are insanely active. A mom we met who is a Special Ed teacher watched you play for a few minutes with a face of shock, then turned to me and said, “well, he’s got a lot to get out, doesn’t he?” And, truth be told, short of building you a gymnasium in our home, I just don’t know what to do. We finished Tumbling this month and that was great, but hanging on to the last of Winter, we still don’t get to go outside and run around everyday. How I long for Spring so you can get some of that energy out! And maybe then you will quit punching. Lord knows, Time Outs don’t really work. You walk over to the stairs to spite me or if I put you in Time Out, you fight me and slap and cry then quickly promise to never do it again, apologize, kiss me and then run off to just wind up back on the stairs for another one just minutes later.
But Bless your Heart, your stubbornness and your attitude are just fine. At the end of the day, after I get you into bed and replay what happened in my head, I never really remember the punches or the tantrums, the naughty outbursts or the whiny begging…I just remember those sweet, random hugs and uber-wet kisses.
This month you began telling *jokes* and saying funny things. I finally went and bought a notebook that I can carry with me at all times so I can write them down quickly. Most of them are straight out of my mouth and only remind me that I have to watch what I say. I also wonder if I talk as much as you do. YOU NEVER SHUT UP! Here are some of my favorites:
***Does Mommy want a sucker? No, Mommy doesn’t like suckers…suckers make you sick
***Don’t wrap me up (when I put my arms around you when you sat on my lap and to get you to let me I had to tell you I was wrapping you up like a Mummy)
***I got my awesome Super Powers/t-shirt/hat/stroller
***ohhhohhhhhhh…I can’t really type this, but it’s definitely something I say. It’s a worried whine or something I say when I’m not happy
***I want my Batman jammies, these are best for me
***last one book….(over and over for one more book at night)
***Lasterday (instead of yesterday)
***Please don’t do that, Daddy/Mommy….I KNOW I say this all the time
***Is he a criminal?
***Don’t say yes, only I do
***I do not. This is not for me. I will (you never say just yes or not, but always a full complete sentence)
***Are my boogers stinky?
***How tall is the sky?
***Is Lucas a snake?
***I’ve got something in my butt hole
***Are you happy for me, Daddy? (this one melted my heart into a million pieces)
***sigh…I’m happy (Said as we sat down to dinner, daddy and I both looked at each other and just smiled so big)
***We don’t punch our friends, do we?
***Give me my cookie back? (after I ate one of his, he wanted it out of my mouth)
***Did he save his life?
***Faster than a pee-ding bullet
***Merrily down the stream…happy burt-day to you (you sing so high-pitched and it’s adorable and I could just listen to you sing all day)
***He not scary, he friend-a-ly (Casper)
***It’s a weapon…is it angry? (about some abstract piece of art on the wall at Aunt Connie’s house)
***What does a corn dog say?….EAT ME! (first joke)
***fucking…fucking…..(ooops, he heard me say this when we ran out to the car in a blizzard and I mutter under my breathe, that it was fucking cold…he walked around saying it all day
***I’m pissed (me again)
***Oh, dammit (daddy first said when he dropped a cup)
***Spike Lee…you have a Puppy Please book written by Spike Lee and when I asked you who wrote it (because we always read the authors names) you said it and we all just started laughing
***Will you change my diaper, mommy? I have a lot of food in my belly
***I’m bored in here…it’s not fun in here…why don’t you love me?….I’m not a baby anymore, mommy! (all things you yell in the morning from your crib when you want me to come get you. I lie there laughing and just hoping you never learn how to crawl out of that thing
***Deklun, you are making me nervous! (me again)
***slow down, mommy, you are driving too fast
***Mommy, I love you….(daddy said ‘be careful’ he probably wants something
***absolutely not (said to Jetta over and over…me…I say this a lot)
***did you miss you guys? (when we were all back together after being in Kansas and daddy in CHS)
***does it feel better, Will? (When you saw a scab on his knee and kissed it…you like to have your ouchies kissed)
***I had so much fun (at school or with Ms. Lara)
You are a funny little guy, but a bit too much attitude, that’s for sure. You walked around all week while daddy was gone talking about New York City and Paris, France and insisted I show you where they are on the map and now like to find them. You are still BEYOND obsessed with ghosts and mummies and insist at the library that we only check out Halloween books. I don’t much like reading you books about scary goblins and vampire blood, but I also want to encourage you to be passionate about things….still. We tried Story Time one day, but as Ms. Nancy read “Cow Says Meow” you yelled, “this is a baby book, I want to read ghost book.” I got a lot of strange looks, but I’ve since learned that the other moms know who we are at Story Time and no one is really surprised anymore when we show up with capes on or a mask or screaming about wanting to go to the cemetery. As much as you love those spooky critters, especially Casper and Thatch and Ra and Mantha and Kaibash, you love love love all things Superhero still. I’m never going to stop being amazed by how much you know about them. Tony Stark is Iron Man? Really? How do you know that? I love to listen to you when you are playing alone with your playsets and making them “battle” (a game daddy created where you just stand them all up). You say, “I’ve got to get the bad guy” or “we need the bat rope” each word loud and punctuated and you are very serious. When we flew home from Kansas, you had the entire Southwest flight in laughter as you wore your Bat Cape and stood on the seat then jumped down over and over and over yelling, “we have to find the tit-i-ty belt” or “where’s the bat signal” or “okay dokey, Batman.” I was just trying to control you so you didn’t annoy the other passengers, but no one seemed to mind. You loved the attention and as you ran around the airport waiting for daddy’s flight to come in with your cape on, you even made strangers smile and laugh. I just love that about you…you are very passionate and creative and mature and insanely smart! And you just truly love your toys, when you go to “school” when mommy has her MOPS meetings, you cling to whatever toy you take with you that day, never even putting it down. You get that from Papa Jim…you love your things
We spent a week in Kansas this month…another thing I don’t like about you being 2-years-old is that we will have to start paying for your plane tickets now and we won’t be able to travel back to KS as much. When we got off the plane, PPJ was squatted down RIGHT outside the exit door. You saw him and…ran right around him into Don Linny’s arms. It was hilarious. You had a great time with your cousins and we spent an extra day with them in Lawrence when a blizzard/snow day kept them home from school. You wrestled and ran and took a nap on my face one day. You just love Jack and Will….
I swear every time we are around them you learn how to do so many new physical feats. You came back from Kansas walking down the stairs on your own by just supporting yourself on the wall. You climb onto stools and jump off. You learned how to pout with your lip and throw your arms across your body to drive the point home. It’s nothing but funny.
I still have to rock you for naps, but I will never mind. I wouldn’t trade you falling asleep on your own for getting to look at your sweet face any day. It only takes 2 minutes for you to fall asleep and then I put you on my bed where you have been taking AWESOME naps. Sometimes you wake up about an hour and a half in and I rock you again then put you back down for another hour. At night, we read about 15 books b/c I can’t stand it when you look at us and say, “last one book” and so we read and read. You now can tell me the title and author of most books that we read and sometimes will pull the book out of my hand and read them to me. 🙂 I rock you again and always sing Twinkle, Twinkle and the Alphabet. After 2-3 minutes I lay you down with your giant stuffed Superman and you whisper “Goodnight” to me and I walk away. It never ceases to amaze me how easy this is. . . I probably just jinxed myself
You have a new face that you like to make….kitty cat face…it’s basically the cutest thing you do. You love to put chapstick on your face in the car and try to use your foot to roll down the windows. Your hugs have never been better. They are random and I don’t have to ask for them. You get so frustrated these days when you can’t figure things out. At Monkey Business you couldn’t fling your legs up onto something to crawl on it and I could read in your face how upset you were. We tried to take you to the Lego Movie this month…EPIC fail….ten minutes into the movie after we wrestled you back into your seat for the 33rd time, you yelled, “Daddy, I want to shoot you with a gun.” Yep…we were outta there. It was silent except for you screaming as we hauled you down the stairs. For days after, you walked around saying, “I was bad at the movie…I wanted to shoot daddy.” Ugh..not a proud parenting moment.
But you know, just when I think my day can’t get any worse and you’ve punched all your friends and screamed about shooting people…right when you’ve taken me to the edge…when I’m so tired I’m calling the doctor b/c I’m certain I have a thyroid issue causing fatigue…when you’ve knocked over a cup of milk or smacked me…right then…when I’m about to lose it…you give me one of your best hugs and pucker your lips for a Juicy or you tickle me (which is really just you scratching me) and then I’m completely yours again. Toddlers just come with this innate ability to push and push and push you, then back off at the right moment. Certainly you do.
I think a lot about the person I think you will become. Mostly because I’m worried you will be a 16-year-old who punches other kids and still wears capes to run around Target…but also b/c I just know you are going to be a good person. You are so passionate, Reeve. Truly. I see other kids your age who like cars or trucks or planes, but NONE of them live and breathe anything the way you do Superheroes. It’s not just Superheroes you are passionate about though. It’s running…or being right…or reading…or acting out the ninja in your monster book….or eating…painting. Anything you do is with gusto. With moxie. Personality…You’ve got a HUGE personality, dude. If you sad, your heart breaks and your face breaks mine, but if you are loving on me, it’s so much that it hurts.
I’m really proud to be your mom, Reeve. When I meet a new mom and she tells me she recognizes you from Story Time or because of your cape, I am just so glad you stand out. You aren’t a little blob like so many kids your own age, you are a BIG guy with a busy little body.
I think back, as I do every month on the 21st, to the day I found out you were to be a boy and I just cannot believe we’ve made it this far together. I made a wish and you came true.
You are my favorite little boy in the whole world. I’d do anything for you, anything to make you smile or happy. I hope you will always be my bestest little guy….pinkie swear.
To the moon & back…but further,
Favorite things to do:play with the skin on your upper lip, wear your Batman cape with the mask built in, NOT listen at Story Time, chase after Deklan, run the aisles in Target, play with Tenley, read and check out ghost books,
Favorite things to eat: Carrots and broccoli ??? Summer Sausage, grilled trees (cheese), noodles, apples, Smart Ones Cheeseburgers, popsicles, chicken quesadilla,
Dislikes: Story Time, circle time, when Daddy is out of town all week, having to go into stroller, being told “no”,
Funny Tricks: walking down the stairs by yourself, hiding your eyes behind your hands, funny faces, spinning
Scary items: threatening you with jail or police,
Hair color: Blonde… You’ve had a few trims by mama
Eye color: Less blue and more green like daddy’s
Clothing size: 3T shirts, 3T pants
Diaper size: 6
Weight: 32 pounds
Teeth: 16 ( dentist confirmed back molars are starting to cut through)