I have a friend who recently became a stay-at-home mom after 11+ years with a career. After just a couple of weeks of not working I noticed a Facebook post where she said “this stay at home mom business is AWESOME ”
And it isn’t.
I’m just being honest here. I know a lot of moms would give anything to have this option, but Some days it’s really hard. And tiring.
Some days, it IS awesome. MOST days it’s awesome. Today, for instance, Reeve can’t stop hugging and kissing on me. Sure, his need for my skin can be a bit…much….but he loves loving on me. Today is awesome.
But some days, those other days, are fucking hard.
Some days he says, “mama, MAMA, MAMMMMAAAAAA!!!” 100 times and I have to shuffle my legs while he clutches them to move two feet. Some days I have to pee while he pulls all the toilet paper off the roll and tries to see what’s going on between my legs. Some days I don’t get to eat. Some days naps are only 30 minutes. Some days clumps of my hair are pulled out. Some days the house stinks and the dog pissed on my bikini and the sink is FULL of dishes and the vacuuming hasn’t been done in weeks.
I try not to complain on my blog too much about the hard stuff b/c I have so much to be thankful for. He’s healthy. That’s number one. He’s smart. He’s growing. I mean, my God, I’m so lucky that I don’t have to work and we can afford to stay home with him. I know that. I don’t take that for granted.
But some days, this shit is hard.
Most days I am maxed out. My brain doesn’t work. I leave keys in places where I can’t find them. I go to Target for one thing and walk out with 20 things I don’t need and forget the one thing I went for and then have to search every cart in the damn parking lot for my wallet i left in it. I don’t know if the load of laundry I washed three days ago ever got moved into the dryer or not. I’m physically tired. I CRASH into bed at 7:43 each night after he’s down and am snoring by 9pm at the latest.
I went 5 days last week without washing my hair and had to wake up at 5:45 today to take a bath just so I wouldn’t offend moms at Story Time with my smell. I don’t even care anymore if I shave my legs. My husband does…,that’s another story.
My wardrobe consists of gym clothes covered with juice and ketchup and boogers. I wear bras that were once white and are now gray. I have dressed up approximately 4 times in his life and then spent too much time worrying if the babysitter drowned him to actually enjoy it.
Kirk must think he’s having a conversation with a zombie most days. He repeats himself 3 times before I hear him. Maybe he just thinks I’m starting to go deaf….maybe I am?!?!? I wouldn’t be able to confirm though b/c I can’t schedule a doctor’s appointment b/c nap schedules are more important than my health.
I could go on. I won’t though.
Being a Stay-At-Home-Mom IS awesome. I just also want everyone to know it’s also fucking hard….
I compare it to having a 14-hour work day where your boss just screams at you all day while grabbing your boobs through the neck hole in your shirt and then won’t let you take a poop without trying to look. Some days, I swear he tries to crawl back inside my vagina.
I wouldn’t trade this for anything. You must know that, right? I’m sarcastic and bitchy and hormonal and the luckiest girl in the world.
So, to my other SAHM’s…..savor those moments where you think “this is AWESOME” b/c they are often disguised with shitty pants and screaming and bruised knees and someone trying to eat your eyeballs. They are peppered with spilt milk and fights over vegetables and pulling the dogs hair or trying to push its butthole. Find those moments and write them down. Take their picture. Fucking remember them because next thing you know your kid is going to be a pissy teenager who steals things out of neighbors’ garages and drinks at their friends houses and who plays video games in their bedroom with their only friend who just happens to live in Germany.
the luckiest Stay-At-Home-Mom on this side of Denver