Yesterday we celebrated the 4 year anniversary of how we met in THE most domestic way possible (he assembled chairs downstairs, I baked lasagna (which I don’t even like but Kirk asked for), church this morning and an evening of chasing the baby) it would be easy for us to forget about this day and how important it is.
On this day in 2009, I worked up the nerve to text the man I’d been chatting with online and asked him to forego our planned formal date and just meet me at a bar for a drink. I hadn’t been on a formal date in over 9 years (the ex had just broken up with me less than a month before) and I didn’t want to get stuck at a fancy restaurant with some guy that wasn’t doing it for me.
He and I had exchanged over 50 emails in the week prior….something was clicking between us as we exposed our deepest secrets, pains, wishes all without even knowing each other.
I was really, probably just trying to get out of a date b/c I was TERRIFIED. It was near 10pm and I thought he would never want to meet that late. He did, after all, have a real job to get to the next morning. His reply to my text was slow as he was actually at the gym (at 9:00 at night?!?!?!?). He said yes and I put my hair up in a ponytail, didn’t even change out of my ratty jeans, KU t-shirt and Chuck Taylors (he later told me that those shoes were a total turn-on).
I walked into the bar and saw him with his curls poking out of his ballcap, a highball glass nervously in his hands and a smile on his face that I would come to learn meant he was very nervous.
I talked for 3 hours straight!! I don’t think he got one word in, just stared at me and did a lot of laughing.
Our night ended as he walked me to my car. By the time I got home, he had already emailed me asking me out the next night.
On our 2nd date, we met at a pizza joint to watch some football. I had gotten there early and already made friends and done shots with the guys next to me. Kirk showed up with a toothbrush (he told me he had a dentist appointment that morning and jokingly I asked him to grab me a brush…he did). We stayed late, laughing, talking ….. he held my mittened hand as we crossed the street.
He had lost his car (he did this a lot when we first started dating) and I put him in mine to drive around until we found his. He worked up the nerve to kiss me. I pushed him away.
He had emailed me before I even got home.
Our 3rd date was when I invited myself over and announced to him that I wanted pancakes for dinner and I wanted to watch a movie. He had to borrow eggs from his neighbors and only had the healthy Wheat Mix. They were awful! I brought my favorite movie and he had his ready to play.
They were the same movie. He loved it b/c of the baseball. Little did I now, he already had plans that night to go out with friends. He cancelled them for me. I told him I loved the Bob Dylan song in the movie. He said it wasn’t Bob Dylan, he knew his Bob Dylan. It was Bob Dylan and he was done for.
Around our 4th date, I pretty much moved in. I couldn’t stand to be away from him for very long. I told him I didn’t share and we spent our nights at the bars and restaurants around us laughing, flirting, making out…..we talked about “someday” with our heads on the pillow. Before we’d known each other a month, we knew we were going to marry each other.
My heart wasn’t broken any longer. I moved on pretty quickly from my ex. Kirk taught me a kinder love. A more patient, respectful love. He made me believe that partners could be equal without being cut from the same cloth. He was gentle with me and treated me kinder than I’d ever been before.
To this day, I still have no idea what he does each day when he goes to work. He still lets me be crazy, have breakdowns and meltdowns. He’s okay if I paint the dining room 5 times. He likes that my clothes don’t always match. He just shakes his head when I freestyle to songs on the radio. He calls me “Monk” and buys me Kit Kats. He still holds the door for me and lets me order first and makes me laugh with his jokes that aren’t really funny. He indulges my creative side. He eats anything I cook for him (even though he once thought I gave him Wolf Meat…it was steak).
Now, our lives are quite different. We chase a baby around. We don’t flirt as much, but we still connect. We share the same hopes, same dreams.
Four years is a long time to love someone and still say with all honesty that you love them more as each day passes.
I maintain I am the luckiest woman I know. My husband is smart, good-looking, healthy, honest, respectful, kind, a GREAT father, funny…he’s everything I want my own son to grow up to be like.
Here is a look back at our 4 years….from Today to Then. (and as the title says, also a history of my hair from short to long, red to blonde to brown, curly to straight….)