I am sure there are a thousand posts similar to what you are about to read all over the glorious Internet written by new moms who have reached a moment of enlightenment, just like me, when you realize boobs have a PURPOSE.
after all these years of push-up bras and bikinis, v-cut tops that are supposed to *give a cleavage* effect and a whole lot of wishing my boobs were bigger….I realize it doesn’t really matter b/c now these mounds of fat which once gave me grief during puberty and high school now give LIFE to the greatest love of my life.
That’s right…my boobs keep Reeve alive and they, for the first time ever, are something I am proud of. Not b/c of their size or how they look but b/c in that moment of PAIN (OUCH!!!!) when he latches on I look down at the 34B mounds (which are now not really a whole lot bigger) and I want to hug them…kiss them….give my boobs a little HOORAY!
I cannot put into words what breast feeding has done to build this love, this bond between Reeve and I. He could care less if they are big, small….black or white…if my nipples are pink, brown, or green, he only cares that they give him food every 3 hours (and sometimes in between) and that my skin is warm and that one hand goes on my chest and the other strokes my side.
Nipples…oh nipples….though now longer than I even thought possible and quite tender, how I do love thee. Nipples, I could kiss you myself for being “perfect” as the Lactation Consultant who squeezed them proclaimed.
And you know what…I am now a La Leche League supporter. I get a surge of pride when I read about the many, many benefits to Reeve’s health these 2 fatty mounds provide him. I love going on their website and reading about how I am making his teeth and jawline stronger, how I am building his immune system, how my milk is specifically created FOR HIM!
Many of my friends were unable to nurse for one reason or another and I just am sad for them. It’s such a beautiful thing. Not to go all hippie or Mother Nature on you, but for the first time in my life, I feel like this body of mine that I have spent so many years keeping in shape, squeezing into too-tight clothes, obsessing over, looking at, being afraid to be naked in front of another person with FINALLY is saying “Screw you, I am LIFE!!!”
Now, with my pooch I proudly walk around topless or with just a nursing bra on. Sometimes, I walk and nurse at the same time. I even do the one thing I swore I would never do which is nurse in front of Kirk. GROSS! Ewwww….leaky….wet…he doesn’t want to see that, I thought. Well, who cares. THis body feeds your son and I love it and you should too! He probably does. He doesn’t seem to have a problem with it and is still “curious” about how it words more than anything, but I am not hiding my boobs or my milk from anyone.
That’s right. I will be that lady in a booth at Applebee’s with a Hooter Hider on. I will nurse in my car, I will nurse in a bar. I will nurse in a plane, on a train, in the rain. If you don’t like it…DON’T LOOK!
But, Lord…thank you on this day, at the age of 32 for these boobs that I once wished were bigger and thought would get me the cute boys who still live at home! Thank you for the *lesson* and for teaching me in such a short time as a Mom that BOOBS are AWESOME!!!