it’s amazing really…the things that an already-mom will say to a new (expecting) mom.
Today, I met a mom with a 3 week old who told me that they thought they wanted a big house so they could have a big family, but after “this one” (to which she nodded at the adorable smiling babe in the carrier) they are DONE…exclamation point!
Now, they want a smaller house.
She then went on to explain (and dad confirmed) that he wakes up crying, falls asleep crying, keeps them up crying and just cries all the time. I wanted to look at her, grab her shoulders and ask her, “well what the hell did you expect?”
I mean, did she think he would come out with a spoon in his right hand so he could feed himself and a on/off switch?
Aside from that, it has amazed me from Day One how quickly others are to share their pains, aches, discomforts, sleepless night stories, stories about the time they peed themselves or how much weight they gained…and worst of all…how eager they are to tell you how badly they “tore” and how many (yes) stitches they needed.
Do they think I want to know that? Do they think those things make me feel better? Do they think it’s helpful or appropriate or necessary?
I tell you, I haven’t enjoyed every minute of this pregnancy ~ there was the time last month I peed myself from a coughing fit and I have to get up nightly (at least once) to pee, but this is NOTHING…this is easy…this is painless compared to what I know I will feel when he’s here and has his first fever, or when he’s 3 and falls and breaks something, or when he’s 5 and has his first playdate without me, or when he’s 10 and misses the winning at-bat or when he’s 15 and gets his heartbroken or when he’s 18 and misses curfew or when he’s 21 and partying with strippers in Vegas while downing shots and getting a tattoo.
At least, while we are pregnant, our precious child is safe. No harm can be done to him from the outside world. No words can hurt him.
Yes, ladies, this part is easy so how dare you complain to me and try to make me empathize with your experience!
My experience has been, for lack of a better word, perfectly lovely.
I love every kick, every pound I have gained, every sleepless night and every single backache b/c, for now, as long as I am doing my job Reeve is safe.
I VOW, here and publicly and with my whole heart and soul, to NEVER make another mom-to-be feel anxious or scared about the miracle they are carrying inside of them. How can a woman complain about her child when it’s so hard for others to even HAVE a child. It would feel rude and as though I were ungrateful.
Shame on you, Mother who called her child “this one.”
Shame on you for not cherishing that precious time in the soft, early hours of the morning with your 3-week old who will NEVER again be that small.
Shame on you for not begging your brain to remember every suckle and smile of your baby in the dark and cold hours of our nights.
Shame on you for not using his name. Shame on your for thinking it would make you feel better to make me feel bad. Shame on you…
One day, you are going to wake up and “this one” will be 18 and you will be devastated for all the time gone and your loneliness and fears.
How I hope you wake up soon with an epiphany that you were given the most precious gift in the world that is so unique that only one will exist!