auld.lang.syne

i read somewhere that a baby chooses its mother before it is born…that it knows how much the mother needs him…that it’s purpose from that moment is to show the mother what life really means, what really is important, how love really feels.

for some reason the words “Auld Lang Syne” made me remember that. The words literally translate to mean “long time since” and as I sit here at 8:30pm on New Year’s Eve and I hear that song, I am reminded that I have known you a long time since.

Much like I know that Kirk has been in my plans long before I could even imagine him, I truly believe that I have known you for all of time.

There really are no words for how excited I am to ring in 2012. Yes, even as I sit here in my beat up blue fuzzy robe with holes in it….even as I am having a hot flash and feasted upon makeshift pizza on French Bread and Diet Cherry 7-UP….even as I miss Kirk and am a *slight* bit jealous that he is in NYC…EVEN AS I know I won’t make it to midnight…..I know that when that clock strikes 12:00 I am just that much closer to holding you in my arms.

I don’t know if there will be as many wonderful things happening in 2012 as there were in 2011, but it doesn’t matter b/c there will be that ONE moment in 2012 where I become a mom. Where my past and all that was ever planned for me is born and held. For only one day, in 2012, you will be one day old…ONE DAY…and 2012 will always hold this special, lovely place in my heart.

So, I welcome 2012 with open arms and with the greatest of belief that our future can only be better.

I won’t have anyone to kiss on the lips tonight, but in my sleep and when I dream tonight, it will be of you and I will fairy kiss your little lips and my heart will hug you forever.

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