am.i.pregnant?

The hardest part about the first 12 weeks of this pregnancy is that i don’t LOOK pregnant. Sure, I have gained 4 pounds, but my clothes still fit and I am not necessarily glowing and i still haven’t really made THE ANNOUNCEMENT!

It’s been over 2 weeks since I heard the heartbeat last and I am convinced it has stopped….or that you have fallen out without me knowing it.

Yes, it’s silly….and irrational. I am aware of that, but the 2 pregnant ladies on my street are painting their nurseries and tossing out the boxes for their cribs and wheeling strollers into their garages and I’ve got NOTHING!  I don’t have a single idea of what you are let alone if you are even still in there.

I have grown to love you so much that I can’t imagine the shock and terror if something were to have happened to you.

To convince myself that I AM pregnant, I look for the smallest of symptoms.

I cried during “Frontline” last night….i MUST be hormonal

It hurt to sleep on my stomach last night…i MUST be growing in my belly

My nipples appear larger….i MUST be making milk? I don’t know…that one’s a long shot, but I am telling you. . .

The other day I pulled into THIS parking space b/c I felt like it was a whisper of an announcement.

Like i was whispering, “Hey world..it’s me…jessie…there is a baby in this tummy….i’m a mom!”

Then I got all paranoid that a REALLY pregnant, like 9 month pregnant waddling mom would need the space and see my skinny ass and try to kill me. So I ran into the store.

Inside the Babies R Us store, I bought the silliest, most ridiculous waste of $30 in the whole world.

The IntelliGender test.

DUMB!

Listen to what the website touts:

The results from a seven-month independent evaluation of the IntelliGender Gender Prediction Test’s accuracy performed between November 2008 and May 2009 by a major Mexico-based pharmaceutical company is included here.  The tests reflected an accuracy rate of 87.6% when tested with first morning urine.  The test was required by Mexico’s Ministry of Health before the IntelliGender Test could be imported and sold in Mexico.  The results from a one-year study conducted between August 2008 and August 2009 in Australia evaluating the IntelliGender Test’s accuracy, reflecting an overall accuracy rate of 89.55%.  This study was required before the test could be sold in Australia. 

I can’t believe I fell for it. I thought it would be like an EPT test where you peed on a strip and it read the hormone levels and gave you an “accurate digital reading.” Blarney.

Pee in cup…pull out syringle….extract 20 ML of pee…squirt into POWDER….swirl (not slosh it said, but swirl)…wait 5 minutes…blue pee = boy…pink pee = girl….

for 5 minutes I sat there praying for Pink Pee

my pee was green

what the hell is green? Unisex?

Oh well, I am not convinced that Mexico’s Ministry of Health can predict my baby’s gender.

That’s all for today.

Sorry, I am feeling kind of blah….i MUST be pregnant!

 

 

 

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