quietly.it’s.so.loud

there is so much going on that I can’t tell if it’s crazy or just really nothing-oh-so-special.

There is this great line from John Irving’s book “A Widow for a Year” where the author says someone is “making a sound like someone trying not to make a sound,” and that’s how i feel (ps….apparently there is now a childrens’ book named the same). Like it would be nice to go unnoticed, but i just end up in hot pink, neon, flashing lights with a bubble over my head that says, “look at me and pay attention and here i am and YOOOO HOOOO.”

I just want to curl up on the couch and fly off the radar.

First, about a month ago my thumbnail started to get all swollen…then pus filled…then both….then the nail got all funky. Now it’s downright WRONG and antibiotics are helping, but when you are pregnant all of your friends convince you a splinter is cause for the “baby’s concern” and you don’t want to be a bad mother in utero….so you go to the doctor.

i mean this is gross, but it would’ve been fine.

then the nail started to pull up and OWWWWW!

So, i get an anti-biotic and keep soaking it in Epson salt and wrapping it in Antibiotic bandaids and cleaning it and it’s feeling better.

then.

i wake up with a gian sore throat, earache and a swollen gland on my neck that KILLS. Of course…..

my parents are in town visiting so they decide (again) that it’s safest for the baby to go to the doctor and load me up and a 20 mile drive takes an hour in Rush Hour AM traffic and my dad is on a business call all “it’s 3,950….or 3,300….well, 3,950….times point o six….3,950….base price….i was always taught….3,950” for that WHOLE hour and by this time my ear is falling off. Ugh. Get to the doctor and, sho enuf, it’s strep throat.

I get  a prescription for an antibiotic. It happens to be the same one I was given 3 days prior for my thumb. I get a doctor’s note to miss work, but i have already missed 3 days last month for *mental health* and bed rest.

so here i am

grumpy. at work.

oh, did i also mention my 1999 Honda Civic crapped out on me and Kirk gets to reap the rewards of my shitty old car. Yes, folks…he’s out today buying a Cadillac. Lord….a Cadillac? I mean, who does he think we are? I get it, i get it. He grew up wanting one and told himself someday if he could ever afford it and that day has come…but the LEAP from a Honda Civic circa 1999 to a Cadillac seems silly.

Oh well….i guess I won’t end up too badly in this deal b/c i get his Jeep Cherokee….whatever. … . .i don’t care what i drive.

as you can probably tell, i am in a bad mood and have nothing witty or cheery or positive to say. OH, other than my mom cleaned and scrubbed my house today. YAY Don Linny!

Gotta go….pee

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