Things I am quickly learning about being pregnant.
1. I want to eat what i want to eat when i want to eat it.
Last night, on my way to dinner at Tara/Doug’s house, I stopped at a fast food restaurant and ate dinner. Yes, I ate dinner before dinner. I was disgusted with myself and felt fat, but it had to be done. I passed that fast food restaurant and thought to myself, “Well, if it’s from the $.99 menu it won’t be very big and if it isn’t very big it won’t fill me up and if it doesn’t fill me up then I can eat a healthy meal when i get there.” Yeah, my sense of rationale & reasoning is shot.
2. one minute you are happy, the next you are sad and the next you might kill the dog.
Sitting here, watching television, i was laughing then i was crying. Studying my Pinterest boards I was hopeful about boy clothes (if i do have a boy that is) and the next this little yellow dress made me cry.
I am on “bed rest” and I feel great, but I could sleep all day long. How is it possible to be so tired and to have done NOTHING all day long?
4. My nipples feel like a dog’s
Gross, I know….but every time I look at them I think of a dog who just gave birth and it’s sloppy, nasty long nipples dragging on the floor. No, mine aren’t long or dragging on the floor, but they are so sore I feel like they might snap off or get caught on the sheets every time I roll over in the night.
5. Feeling fat in your bikini is okay when you know you are growing another person
At the pool, i don’t feel so insecure in front of the teenager lifeguards knowing that I AM LIFE and growing a human being inside of my ever-stretching uterus and belly that are full of this….
6. Pregnant women should NEVER be allowed to go grocery shopping
Yeah….i don’t think I ended up with any two items that could lead to a healthy, well-balanced meal. Instead, we now have Lemon Pelligrino, queso, Moose Tracks ice cream, pineapple Greek yogurt, cake with buttercream frosting, frozen pizza, chocolate covered granola bars…..god, i feel like a fat girl just reading this. Kirk HATES HATES HATES going grocery shopping. Like, he mentally shuts down and acts like my 6-year-old nephew and pouts and stomps and drags his feet and gets distracted, but from this point forth….he is the Grocery Shopper. I will gladly trade him any task in the house if he will only do the weekly grocery shopping. Otherwise, I am going to end up a giant fat ass with stretch marks and nipples covered in queso.