Things I am quickly learning about being pregnant.

1. I want to eat what i want to eat when i want to eat it.

Last night, on my way to dinner at Tara/Doug’s house, I stopped at a fast food restaurant and ate dinner. Yes, I ate dinner before dinner. I was disgusted with myself and felt fat, but it had to be done. I passed that fast food restaurant and thought to myself, “Well, if it’s from the $.99 menu it won’t be very big and if it isn’t very big it won’t fill me up and if it doesn’t fill me up then I can eat a healthy meal when i get there.” Yeah, my sense of rationale & reasoning is shot.

2. one minute you are happy, the next you are sad and the next you might kill the dog.

Sitting here, watching television, i was laughing then i was crying. Studying my Pinterest boards I was hopeful about boy clothes (if i do have a boy that is) and the next this little yellow dress made me cry.

3. Tired doesn’t do justice to how i feel

I am on “bed rest” and I feel great, but I could sleep all day long. How is it possible to be so tired and to have done NOTHING all day long?

4. My nipples feel like a dog’s

Gross, I know….but every time I look at them I think of a dog who just gave birth and it’s sloppy, nasty long nipples dragging on the floor. No, mine aren’t long or dragging on the floor, but they are so sore I feel like they might snap off or get caught on the sheets every time I roll over in the night.

5. Feeling fat in your bikini is okay when you know you are growing another person

At the pool, i don’t feel so insecure in front of the teenager lifeguards knowing that I AM LIFE and growing a human being inside of my ever-stretching uterus and belly that are full of this….

which leads to my last Lesson Learned so far.

6. Pregnant women should NEVER be allowed to go grocery shopping

Yeah….i don’t think I ended up with any two items that could lead to a healthy, well-balanced meal. Instead, we now have Lemon Pelligrino, queso, Moose Tracks ice cream, pineapple Greek yogurt, cake with buttercream frosting, frozen pizza, chocolate covered granola bars…..god, i feel like a fat girl just reading this.  Kirk HATES HATES HATES going grocery shopping. Like, he mentally shuts down and acts like my 6-year-old nephew and pouts and stomps and drags his feet and gets distracted, but from this point forth….he is the Grocery Shopper. I will gladly trade him any task in the house if he will only do the weekly grocery shopping. Otherwise, I am going to end up a giant fat ass with stretch marks and nipples covered in queso.



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