since i’ve met Kirk, in our 2 years together, i have had moments where i experience a feeling that is new to me. So new it’s like just learning to walk or the wondrous elation experienced when you tackle something you have been working on for months. Like an AHHA moment or when you are sitting beside a beautiful ocean just watching and listening to the waves tumble. Something that i can’t ever put into words b/c i have never felt it before.

i mostly experience it after a period of sadness….or confusion….or anxiety.

A lot of times I feel anxiety and confusion. I want to be great, i don’t think i am. I want to be special, i think i am ordinary. I want to be successful, i am not. i want to make people proud, i feel like i am a flop.

these feelings get to me. They beat me down. They wear me out. They burn and they sting and then….


something i have never had happen, well, it happens. It goes away, it leaves, i am able to stop caring, to think “eh, who cares?” or “eff it” and usually that feeling takes over.

today, i realized that it is.

It’s JOY!

it’s paled in comparison after a moment of “you know what, everything IS going to be allright” the minute i see HIM!

Kirk is my most amazing gift in the world. Today we started our morning as guests in Adam & Erin’s house. For the next 5 weeks, while our home is being finished, we will be sleeping in their basement. We are so thankful to have them as friends. I don’t know where we would’ve gone had they not let us stay with them….

Here’s to hoping we sleep well and that Crazy Dog doesn’t destroy anything.



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