Stress and Timing and Vaginoplasty

I am super stressed out right now. I have this new job that is not only stressful b/c it’s new, but also b/c YET AGAIN, i find myself having wonderlust. I have had no less than 10 professional jobs in my time since graduating college and EACH time, it’s only a matter of 4 or so months before I realize i don’t love the job and start stressing out about whether I should stay b/c i know i should stay, but my soul tells me part of what i love the most about myself is that i don’t stay in any situation that doesn’t bring me complete joy or happiness.

but i have bills to pay, a wedding to plan and NOW…..big fat bass-y drumroll…..

a new mortgage.

Mr. and I are moving to the ‘burbs…..

visions of fat, chunky baby rolls and him kissing my fat preggo belly (not yet) convinced ME to convince HIM to move out of the city where we have to fight the bums who piss in our parking spot to a lovely new home in a private, gated community with mountain views and neighbors with children.

and it has been nothing short of pure torture to try to get it done

first, they (those awful underwriters) wouldn’t count our Rental Income just yet….second, they wouldn’t count my income at all, then we had to borrow just a little bit from my folks to get to the 20% deposit we wanted to put down, then we had to move out earlier than expected and move IN with friends (ugh…i won’t even get into that just yet) and lastly, no one mentioned that it would mean I couldn’t shop or eat out until the house closes on 3/31 b/c we are trying to save money.  WTF!?!?!?!

Save money? I don’t need a lesson in saving money.

I saved $70,000 CASH in the last ten years and haven’t had one stable job for longer than 6 months at a time.

Nonetheless, I am excited about the home, but afraid to jinx it by showing all of you pictures of the house or even of the cabinets being installed or the curtains I have bought.


you can wait

Have I mentioned that planning a wedding and not being able to really pay for anything is quite difficult? I have to find a way to secure a deposit on the wedding musicians without using our credit card or writing him a check. I have thus far thought about selling my soul to him or giving him a gallon of my blood to hold as a deposit.

He didn’t laugh when I suggested either. Party pooper. To be honest, it has made me rethink our decision to hire him, it appears his sense of humor died.

To ease the stress last night, i got drunk. I just had to. I needed it and my life was overwhelming me, so I figured I needed some beer and pizza and at 7am (on my day off…) I feel icky.

On a funny note, we were sitting at the table with our friends B & M talking about this woman I know who had a Vaginoplasty. My Super Cute Mr. looks at us all innocently and says, “What? They, like, take someone else’s out and put it in?”

I don’t mean to laugh at you Budgy (that’s my nickname for him…more on why later), but sometimes you are so naive and innocent and gentlemanly that i can’t help but just love you more and more. It’s fun to love you b/c i laugh a lot…at you.

oh and look, he loves me too

(taken in Italy)


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